Sabotage

Cut by my own words;

Ignored by my own ears;

Drowned by my own laughter;

Blinded by my own eyes.

Alas! I declare myself as an enemy!

Dig deeper and you will see,

How the innocent is not really so;

How crudeness could express the best thought.

Am I not worthy of myself?

Dig deeper and be surprised.

My greatest rival don't be deceived.

Stabbed by my very own hand;

Patched up by the very same ones.

Oh how I seek honesty

and yet lie to myself.

You are my thoughts yet you are not.

Why have you come to war

 with nothing but your bare hands?

A gun against your heart;

A knife against my throat.

See me as a great adversary.

For it is how I see you.

Am I not worth it?

Million Shades of Life: Understanding Life

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. 

~ Kahlil Gibran  

Every one was born with senses and intellect to perceive the world before us. And with these we establish our own understanding, beliefs and values. We develop our own personalty and attitude, and condition our minds to our liking. We are  free to lead the life we wanted from the moment we were born or that's how I'd like to think. You may say that reality dictates otherwise and perhaps you are right. However, be it as it may, you shouldn't forget that you are still your own decisions. You may find yourself in different situations, be it be a good one or a bad one, but you must not forget that a part of you, if not the whole of you, has consented to it.

Life will throw you to a limbo of repetitions and monotonous routine that will stealthily wear you down and before you know it, you have lost the ability to see life in colors. Life will give you problems and false hopes that will eventually blind you of what real happiness means. It will leave you skeptical, unsatisfied and numb. Life will tire you down and you will then die of old age not knowing that there is more to life than it's scheming face. Life, like people, has many faces; like a song, it has many tunes; like a color, it has many shades. Life itself  is the complete 360-degree revolution. 

I heard from somewhere that if you think you understand life, you should think again. Understanding life itself shouldn't be anybody's concern - that's what I think. You'll just be wasting your time because in order to fully understand life you must see it through the eyes of more than seven billion people. You must see through the eyes of the forgiving and yet at the same time through the eyes of people who hold grudges as if it is their lifelines; through the eyes of  a vagabond and the eyes of a well-sheltered prince; through the eyes of the oppressed and at the same time the eyes of a tyrant. In order to fully understand life itself, you must also understand every single person walking about the surface of the earth.  While I can't say it is impossible, I am very confident to say that it is nowhere possible. 

Did you ever wonder why people were born differently? raised differently? sees differently? Everyone is born to posses a set of senses that will allow them to perceive the world in a way that should be different from others. It is to show other people, what the world looks like, how it feels like looking and feeling through the senses other than their own. 

We were born with limited knowledge of the things around us but with limitless understanding of other people's emotions and feelings (could be what we call empathy) because perhaps we were not created to understand the workings of life but to appreciate life itself. How? By continually trying to understand and empathizing with others and at the same time not losing sight of ourselves. But in order to do that, we must first know our true selves. The key here is to be always honest to ourselves and to understand our own nature. 

We must discover the inner workings of our mind instead of the inner workings of life. What we may discover may scare us but running away from it will be running away from life itself. Perhaps we could only understand life by understanding our own. 

And as the opening quote has stated, leading our own life is what life is all about. It is not letting life itself lead our own lives. It is all about how we react and how we look at whatever life dishes to us. Remember that life has different shades and that it is the complete 360-degree revolution. If things get  blurry and tough, try looking at it in a different light while turning it on a certain angle.  You might well be surprised about what you might see.

*A/N: I'm not sure if what I just wrote make sense and if it's just my usual ramblings. If anyone will take time to read this, please leave a comment.

Bonds

I fly through the curves of the wind,

And my laughter echoes in the heavens.

“Yes my child, rejoice” God told me,

“Feel the world below you.

So beautiful and pure.

You are one with the wind.

A dweller in the sky.

You are the clouds that float around;

The rain that falls;

The little shy dew drops in the morning of December.”

I understand the faltering of the wind.

When will it rain;

When will it stop;

It tickles the bone in my back.

I see when you are about to cry;

I hear when you rejoice inside.

I am one with the world;

As I am one with you.

“Yes” God said, “You are all one.”

Introduction

I've got a lot in my mind. No, not worries, not wants, not problems. It's just full of something. Anything. Everything. Things I understand and things that I don't. Sometimes it's more of the latter. But sometimes, it's something that I understand and yet can't put into words. There are times I speak of them and yet it seemed so foreign to others. My mind is full of inner conversations, ramblings and arguments. Some of them, I took part but some , I just watch. It's almost funny for me that I witness myself talking to myself and yet I am not involved. I've got a lot in my mind, and when I start to speak of them, I choke as I struggle to find the right words.

I am not good in writing nor I am exceptionally smart. I am just a normal person with a slightly abnormal way of thinking and outlook in life. The reason I created this blog is to express my thoughts, randomly rant and organize my ideas that will  eventually let me solve my own mystery. In Million Shades of Life, I will talk about life in general and many things in particular. Now, aren't I articulate? Well, it's just that I will talking about lot of things under the sun.

This is my blog and everything in it will be written on my own perspective and opinion based on my principles, beliefs and any other third thing. It may sound lame and it maybe be really lame. But hey, I still think it is awesome so it probably is.